week 1 completed

week one of work-daycare-crazyness is over. i am no more closer to an answer than i was 8 days ago.

as luck would have it, eva picked up a mean cold in my last week at home and so max had to stay at home with her my first two days of work. it hurt much less to know that they were home together. coming home those two days was a treat- seeing my two favorite people in the world laughing and playing together (snot dripping out of one of their noses). then wednesday, thursday, and friday: it was almost as if i could convince myself that i was making the right decision, while i was in the office that is. then, as i got off the bus each day (on friday i took a cab because i couldn't stand the thought of getting there a minute past 5 and i had left work 10 minutes later than the days before)i found myself practically running to the daycare while asking myself what the hell i was doing leaving her alone. now it is sunday night and taking stock of the weekend i realize that i am no longer in sync with the little one, the way i was when i wasn't working. we spent all day together and i was responsible for her in every way and i knew her inside and out. now she is between worlds- the daycare and home.